if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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