After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Randomize
