The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
