I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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