if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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