I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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