i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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