I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
