I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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