Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
