You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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