the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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