i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
