come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
