They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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