i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
