Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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