Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
