And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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