Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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