I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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