You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
