listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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