i just google imaged poop.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
