The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
