hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
