I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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