Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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