Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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