her vagine was all disorganized.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
