We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
