I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
