I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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