You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
