Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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