sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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