What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
