I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
