She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My vagina just recognized that song.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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