I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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