shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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