I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
