Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
