it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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