Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
