dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
