We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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