i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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