the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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