Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
