Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
