is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
