DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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