well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
