So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
